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You Know You Are In HR When...

Human Resources HR means anything to your block party grillmaster.  Whether your HR brand is compensation, generalist, HR VP/Director or Manager, recruiting, training, labor, communication, benefits, OD, etc.  Grillmaster don't care.  Congrats.  You made it.  When you get to this point.  You have arrived to the show. Here are 21 signs you know you are in HR when...

     1.  You can't explain what the hell you do to your Uncle Stan.  He asks you every year at Thanksgiving.
     2.  Employees feel obligated to say Hello to you in the halls.
     3.  Those same employees avoid you outside of work.
     4.  You send emails with attachments that nobody cares to read.  Makes you feel like you can communicate.  
     5.  Your name does not show up on the credits list of a project.  Shows up on the roadblock list.
     6.  You run reports that get stuck in a binder.  Collect dust.  Shredded 2 years later.  When is the last time you looked at your Affirmative Action Plan (AAP)? 
     7.  Your work is secret and private.  News flash... people know what you do.  They knew it before you did.  I can google your job title and accurately guess your compensation. Do not tell me compensation is a secret. Also, you are the last one to learn when someone is looking for another job (exit interview anyone?).
     8.  You believe "engagement" is the answer to everything.  You think an engagement survey will tell us more than a hallway conversation with people. 
     9.  You hide, ignore and duck any question related to an HRIS program.  Quick test: How is your online performance management system doing? Does it help me with continuous feedback? How does it develop our talent?  Go hide. You can't answer that without using The Google.
     10.  You are never invited to "The Meeting After The Meeting".  People meet after and before you meet with them.  They do not want you there.
     11.  You listen more than you want.
     12.  Friends hand you their friend's resume.  New friends want to hand you their resume.
     13.  You feel ashamed about getting drunk with your client groups.
     14.  You have created a form or policy that sucks. Fess up. You know this is true.  Learn from it and move on.
     15.  You present controversial information to people.
     16.  You can't accurately count how many people are in your organization.  Funny? Not really.  Your CEO thinks you know this.  You do not.  In my experience, no HR shops can do this easy and/or accurately. 
    17.  Every year you try to be more strategic in your job.
    18.  There are no scorecards or criteria to tell you if you do good HR or bad HR.
    19.  Your clients do not know who you are.  Blame the matrix for this.  
    20.  Most your HR peers are women.
    21.  You are a card carrying SHRM member. 

Can you add to this list? How do you know you have arrived to the HR show?

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